Why wasn’t Lassie a Cat ?

This entry was posted by Matt on Sunday, 22 February, 2009 at

(Post by Matt) I’m not old really, except in gay years. Still the world has changed considerably in the last 4 or so decades. Growing up was a process quite a bit more, let’s say, less structured. Kids like me had a lot of time on our hands. So unlike kids today we didn’t waste it texting or playing video games. We were much more imaginative. We watched television. When remotes first came around my Dad couldn’t see the need. “That’s why I had kids” he’d say. Frankly it was the first time he offered a plausible explanation for why he kept us around…and the last.

One show in particular aroused my interest. And my ire. Lassie was a dog who weekly performed amazing rescues. “What’s the matter girl?” someone would say. Invariably the message being conveyed was that Timmy was down a well. Or maybe trapped in the old abandoned mine. Timmy was a lot of things but risk averse wasn’t one of them. Everyone marveled at Lassie’s predictably heroic actions and welcomed Timmy back like the Prodigal Son. Where were the social workers for pete’s sake! I mean who let’s a dog babysit a kid! After the first mine cave-in, didn’t anyone think it wise to keep a closer eye on the little daredevil!? I guess not. ONE WEEK later he was down the well! One question gnawed at me. Why didn’t they get a cat? That dog was terrible at keeping the kid in line and brought bushels of bad luck. Maybe a cat could’ve turned this mess around. “For crying out loud” the cat would implore-”fill in that well and board up that mine before somebody breaks their ever lovin’ neck!” Tragically, necks were risked because of the inability to recognize the wisdom of cats.

It bears mentioning that since I have kept company with cats I haven’t fallen down a well or been trapped in a mine. Case closed collie!

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  • Doodle Bean
    Pretty funny! Just so you know, Garrison Kiellor had a recurring segment of "Puff the Wonder Cat" on Prairie Home Companion. Puff would solve crimes, rescue stranded companions, drive long distances, etc.


    Although I don't recall that Puff ever rescued Timmy from the well. Just as well, I suppose...
  • Riley & Tiki
    Heh heh. One day Mommy couldn't find Riley. She called and called for him. No answer. She asked our woofie if Riley fell down a well. Blank stare. She finally asked me where Riley was. I immediately went upstairs and stared at the closet door. Mommy opened the closet door and there he was!


    Tiki



    P.S. I am the good one.
  • Hyacinth
    Matt, that was so funny! At first, I loved the idea of having a cat watch Timmy, but when I thought about it, I don't think that would work out for poor Timmy...In our house, if Timmy fell down a well (with a loud crash so the cats would actually notice), Poppy would wake up for a second, then go back to sleep, Bino would get scared and hide, and Mishka would be too busy playing to notice...all in all, Timmy would still be in the well some 20 years later!
  • Lori
    hee hee - I laughed the whole time I read that. Dude is kind of a quiet kitty but when he does meow he is seriously telling me something and quite a few times I have asked "what is it dude - is Timmy in the well?"
  • Anne Boleyn
    Terrific post, Matt! I hope you'll give Lassie a bit of a break because he must have suffered from gender identity issues; all the Lassie dogs were male. That said, my dogs, Pia and Bella, are hopeless but cute and I am forever asking Beatrix, our CEO (Cat Executive Officer, who is a real talker) if she's trying to tell me that Pia or Bella has fallen in the well.
  • Anonymous
    What cat would EVER put up with Lassie and Timmy anyway? If they were dumb enough to play by the well, they deserve to stay there
  • AnnF
    My guess is that the family had a big insurance policy on Timmy, so they kept letting him put himself in danger, but the local police were suspicious, so they couldn't simply ignore Lassie.


    Or something like that.
  • Angie
    While I'm a decade or two behind you and I "do" waste my time playing video games... I couldn't agree more with your insight. Thanks for the chuckle!


    PS. The "school pictures" look marvelous!
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